meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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