So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
