even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
