It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
