remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
