And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
