Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
