dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
