Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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