i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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