oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
