i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
