i just made my gag reflex go away.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize