The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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