Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
