Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
