i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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