i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
