I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
