I want to stick my p in your. b.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
