i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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