He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dicks are not precious.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
