In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize