when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
