He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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