I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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