I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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