Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize