I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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