hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i now understand why vodka
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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