There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
