bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
