I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
