the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize