a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
