I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
