She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
