PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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