she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
