He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize