Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
