I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
