I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I supernannyed him into submission
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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