2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
