Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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