Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
