Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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