Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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