Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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