the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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