Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
