So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
