I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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