Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
