I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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