So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
