watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
