so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
