I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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