Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
