I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
