smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
