we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
