I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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