she was so not down for the gang bang
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
