absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
