I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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