my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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