Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I will pee on everything he values.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize