i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'd cum for enchiladas.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
