CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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