did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
