Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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