help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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