so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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