he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
