I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
