jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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