So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
