I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize