went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
