Porn is love you can see.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
