my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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