You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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