Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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