Your face is a jimmy john
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
