We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize