So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
