Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
