how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
