is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
