it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
