I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
barbara walters just said penis...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
